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June 9, 2002
Process
So I am writing my screenplay. Which at this point means creating an outline of my plot. Jotting down character information. Thinking about my story until my head feels like it's being pelted by lead spitballs. Right now the biggest spitball involves coming up with fresh reasons to keep my two prospective lovers -- my female lead and the movie's male hero -- apart. I start with a list:
- She already has a lover/husband, who, although imperfect in some way -- he drinks; takes drugs; cheats on her; is a much older father figure who is impotent; is dying of a terminal disease; lives only for his work; is an alien from another dimension; is a blind quadriplegic with Tourette's Syndrome who relies on her for everything; has chronic halitosis -- is someone she still cares for deeply.
- She already has a lover/husband, who is a psychopath and will kill her if she leaves him.
- She thinks our hero is lacking in some way -- not a good provider, uncaring, spiritually bankrupt, unfocused in his desire for her, too much of a dreamer -- and will not change her mind until our hero proves her wrong.
- She has a secret -- venereal disease, chronic medical condition, rape victim, was told by a gypsy that her true love would sport a tattoo of three interlocking crescent moons -- that keeps her from entering into a relationship.
- She knows, or thinks she knows, a secret about him -- he pretends to be single, but is married to two other women; he is a jewel thief on the run from the authorities; he is a celebrity who is hiding his identity from the public -- that makes him unattractive.
- She has preconceptions of the perfect mate -- Prince Charming, the classic "bad boy," the "whole package" -- that have no relation to the qualities that make up our hero.
- She is actually in love with our hero but pretends not to be because she feels a relationship with her would be the worst thing for him.
- She is an assassin/robot programmed to kill all lovers.
And so on.
I saw America's Sweethearts on tv tonight. Similar problem. In this case the heroine (Julia Roberts) is kept apart from the hero (John Cusack) because he is obsessed with her sister (Catherine Zeta-Jones), who also happens to be his about-to-be ex-wife. The actors were charming. The script had some genuinely funny lines. I just couldn't believe John Cusack's character would want to be with Catherine Zeta-Jones's completely self-absorbed character after she repeatedly mistreated him. Especially with a willing and waiting Julia Roberts ready to take him into her arms.
And that's it in a nutshell. What's driving me nuts. I need not only the "comedically workable" choice. I need the believable one as well.
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