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August 27, 2001
A private shvitz
"With a written agreement you have a prayer. With a verbal agreement you have nothing but air."
Robert Ringer's words from Winning Through Intimidation reverberate coldly through my thoughts. I have been waiting. Waiting to hear from my agents that they signed the contracts. That they are sending me back my copy. That I have not made the most foolish decision of my professional life signing my career over to two people I have never met. But, as no one else was asking us to the dance, there were few other options.
Back in January 2001 my writing partner and I had finished a spec script for the tv show Will & Grace. (For the uninitiated, aspiring television writers seek employment by writing an episode for an existing television show -- i.e. the spec script -- to not only prove their talents to prospective buyers, but to display the chameleon-like nature a tv writer must have: the ability to write in an already established style using characters created by someone else.) We then sent off 50 query letters to various agents seeking representation and offering up our script for perusal. Through the next seven months we finished a second spec (for the show Becker), sent off two more mass mailings, and mailed a script to anyone who wanted one. Net result: six agencies elect to read our scripts; all six pass on us. Now, I could blame this on the everpresent fear in Hollywood at the time that an actors' and writers' strike was imminent. (Why take on new clients when all work was about to be stopped?) Or that our writing wasn't good enough (which I didn't believe for a second, our scripts being as good or better than anything on tv right now.) I could even blame my parents. (Hey, what's one more thing?) But the truth is that Hollywood is like a steambath in a private club: no one gets a shvitz unless you know someone. And so the majority of agents require a personal referral before considering a prospective client.
When we got the call from Starsky and Hutch -- "The Call" -- it was little wonder we accepted. But we were surprised. After all they were in LA, and we in New York were being offered representation without so much as one face-to-face. "This is highly unusual," agreed Hutch, "but there's no sense taking a trip out here just to meet us. When we've set up meetings with television producers, you can come out to LA and meet us then." Sure sounds logical. It'll save us the cost of an expensive trip. But until I have that signed contract, actual meetings with television producers, and a visual picture of the two entities who hold my professional fate in their hands, I'll continue ruminating on the bounty of carbon dioxide and oxygen I've accumulated.
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